1. Do not ask me to “hang out”. I am running a business not The Make a Wish Foundation. If you want more time together just book me for that desired length of time.

2. Any extra request will be extra money. If you ask me for something that’s not listed in the package expect me to ask for additional funds to accommodate the additional labor I have to do for you.

3. If your “friends” want to book me, they still have to go through my booking form. My attorney helps make a lot of the rules. If you are concerned about privacy, you can talk to him about ways to keep your identity private while abiding by my safety procedures.

4. No haggling. If you feel the need to haggle, then it’s time for you to take life by the balls and do better in life. Please do not burden me with your budgeting issues. I have enough problems of my own.

5. Screening will always be 1000% mandatory. I have had politicians, famous athletes, tech gurus etc fill out my booking form with no problem. You can never convince me that you are more important than the public figures that I’ve encountered.

6. 90% of my clients are married. Please keep me out of your shitty marriage. Be careful with my information as I am careful with yours.

7. Carrot Dangling is highly frowned upon. Saying that you will book a package with a “possibility” of upgrading will instantly make me think less you. It turns me off to the point that I’ll end up putting less effort into our date and maybe cancel all together